Fucking shit!!! What the hell is wrong with me??? Have been having headache for the past 3 weeks, eating panadol like eating my normal meal. Once a while feeling like vomite. Fainted yesterday after branch and almost fainted again this morning after breakfast. Have told my parents but it seems like it's nothig serious about it to them. Is just another excuse of mine to go back. I lazy and I'm sick and tired of talking to them already. Anything happen I'm not letting them know anything. Neither do I want to contact them about it. Let them happy go lucky without knowing what the hell is happening to me here. It seems like my health is meaningless to them. All they care about it that bloody cert and the money of theirs. I do not know how long will this continue. I do not know when will be the day I will collapes one day. My whle body is weakening now as I could hardly breath once awhile. Not to mention I have this stupid corn grew below my feet and I can hardly walk at all now. All I'm doing is limping. Is not just one small dot or something. Is one big patch with pass in it. I wish it's just the normal ones where it's hard and it doesn't feel any pain. But no... It's fucking pain whenever I walk of have pressure onto it. What are all this to my parents? Nonsense??? Excuses??? They seem to be thinking that I'm joking with them. Emails send sound so sweet. But at the end of it, it's just words that wanting me to stay back for the next 4 months with all this I'm going through. What parents I have.. SHIT!!!!

Today, I've had a very fluent conversation with my dad on what I'm thinking and what I feel. It was really good that he has finally understand what I really want and what I'm thinking even though he does not agree on what I've had in mind. What he said to me after that also I do understand. I do admit I have used my logical thinking and that have made me won the battle with my dad. However, he has counter-attacked me by the critical thinking part. My dad wants me to think about my partner and also the family that I'll be having. If it's oni me and my partner, with the salary that we are earning, will it be able to survive? Very good question and this question can never be answered because today, we do not know what will happen tomorrow. Do we? If we do, there will not be people dying or baggers on the streets. What really hit me is Gerald after hearing this question from my dad. What will Gerald think? What would he advise me if he's able to contact me now? Unfortunately, he is very busy with work and also with the pressures he's facing at work. I just wish I could be there for him although I can't help in releasing his tensions. Anyway, dad also did ask me to think about Gerald. I've told him that Gerald wanted me to complete my course and doesn't want to me regret in the future. Dad say he's a sensible boy. Scaring me most is dad wanted to meet him for a drink and to get to know him better because he's starting to like him now. Things can go any better than this? Now the only thing that I have to think about is what my dad says 'critical thinking'. Will I be able to work this problem out and win this final battle? No.. Actually the question I should be thinking about is, "should I do what I don't like for the sake of my future with Gerald?" Is there or will there be another alternative ways for me to go in order for neither me nor my parents being stuck in this situation now for the next few weeks? No matter what, my dad still freaks me out!!!! This is the first time I've ever talked to my parents about my bf. And we are talking so naturally without arguments or disagreement on it or what-so-ever. My dad have put the trust in him now I guess. Oh My God!!! Now is me that cannot adapt to the sudden changes of my parents and not them adapting to me. But I'm glad my relationship is being approved by both my parents. Oh ya.. 3 months anniversary past.

Today, I’ve had the most boring day of all.. Organizational Behavior & Leadership class is ok when we have group decision thingy. But when it comes to theory part, listening to the lecturer talking can really put you to dreamland. After that class we had an hour break before lunch. It was fucking full with people clashing into the cafeteria. After lunch I had this Financial Seminar from 1pm-2.30pm every Friday for the next 3 weeks too. Straight after that seminar, we have Arts class. FUCK MAN!!! All subjects are putting us to sleep. I’ve had almost 5 cups of coffee in a day for the first time. Moreover Arts class we were ask to watch a movie on “Imprssionism”. Thank God I didnt fall asleep in class during that movie. Or else I’ll be in dead trouble. Afterclass, I came back to my room and was doing and planning on my calander. At 6.15pm, I got ready and I went down to Hotel Europe with the rest of my M’sian friends because tonight we have a M’sians’ Gathering. After meeting up, all of us walked down to “Le Challet” for our dinner. Is very nice environment but it’s definitely not a cheap place to eat. I ate a deep fried fish with chips has cost me CHF0. Luckily that 2 bottles of wines Mr. Lim, a lecturer in H.I.M who so happen to be a M’sian too but have lived here very long time ago belanja us. If not, I don’t know how much do I need to pay some more. Dinner ended about 9pm and then we proceeded to the next destination which is White Horse which is a pub. Mr. Lim ordered 2 jugs of Cardinal (local Swiss beer) and the 7 of us drank it while Razif drank coke because he’s a Indian-Muslim. We played darts and chit-chat the whole night through. It was really enjoying but too bad I had to leave about 11.30pm because my head started to get pain that time. Is either I’ve had too much alcohols or it’s time for me to sleep or I’m too tired already. So Elaine and I left with William because he had to take the last bus back to his apartment. Reach back to my room, I feel it was really hot for the first time here. Normally I’ll wear my pj-mas together with my jacket on, plus blanket to sleep. I don’t think I’ll need my jacket on for tonight as I’m super hot tonight. My whole body is full of cigeratte smell now!!! Dam busuk ah!!! But one thing fun for tonight is we are able to speak in all different language, such as Malay, English, Cantonese, Mandarin, a bit of French and German. Oh ya.. Not to forget swearing with Tamil words. Haha.. Feel so like home. I guess if I stay longer here, I’ll have the bad habit of going out for a drink every night. Hopefully my parents will understand this if I so happen to have this kind of habit when I get back next year. Drinking to release stress.. Now, I’m broke!!! Left only CHF 50.. Need to ask Jonathan back for my CHF 100. Got money to go eat dinner outside with his gf also no money to return back to me and William??? What the hell? In short, overall I’ve enjoyed myself for the first time in Switzerland. First time ever I’ve been laughing so hard and playing like this since I arrived in Switzerland a month ago. Haha.. Looking forward to Friday night. I guess Chui Lee’s planning to go Black Pearl for clubbin coming Friday.. Shit la!!! Going to go broke staying here!!! HELP!!!

I've finally completed my 3 weeks Bridge Course in Hotel Institute Montreux, Switzerland. Tomorrow onwards I'll be starting my 5 months BBA Program. In that 3 weeks of Bridge Course, I've went through lots of crying and arguments with both my parents and also my bf. I was having terrible home sick but none of them understand me. The problem became huge till Uncle David had to come all the way from UK to visit me for a couple of days. Mom and dad wasn't happy when they found out that I was having a bf at the moment. But finally, they manage to accept it but they ask me to not focus too much on that. So I can say I've finally have nothingt o hide from them anymore. I've told mom that I've found someone whom I can trust and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with. She was the one who ask em to find a good husband, something like my dad and I believe this time I've found the right one. They are still 50-50 with me having bf. As long as I can prove to them that even though I have Gerald with me, I still can cofus on my career and will even better than before. This is what I'm going to prove. So far, they didn't say I cannot go with him or what-so-ever so I guess they are ok with me and him. However, in that 3 weeks of my bridge course, I was really having a very terrible stress till I was crying everyday wanting to go home. Argued with my parents, friends back in Malaysia and also bf because of me wanting to go back. They do not know what kind of pressure I'm going through here. Try doing 1 year's course in just 5 months time. In short 14 subjects in 5 months which is divided into 2 semester in that 5 months. 1 semester only has 7 weeks of studies and on the 8th week is finals exam already. My 1st semester has 10 subjects in 8 weeks. What do you think? I've got quizes in between and also assignments, group projects and finally is my final exams on the 8th week. I feel the pressure now. That was what I was going through for my bridge course where I have 2 subjects in 3 weeks and in between I have 3 presentations, 2 quized and a group project. I was having only 4-5 hours of sleep each day except for Saturdays and Sundays. Was facing books, papers and also computer the whole day.Had headache everyday and have been eating panadol like eating candy.. One day at least 2-3 tablets. Can say I'm crazy.. Haha.. Yea.. So far that's what I have to say about my bridge course and what I've went through. Oh ya.. I'm really happy now because I have another 18 more weeks to go then I can finally graduate and go back to Gerald. Have been speaking with my parents nicely and planning for their trip here for my graduation and also my air ticket to go back Malaysia with them after my graduation. As for my beloved future husband, Gerald, we are having less communication cause of his work and activities in the hotel. However, our relationship is still the same and nothing's going to change it. Like what we have said, this 4-5 years will be the time for the both of us to build our career for our future. I believe in our love and I trust on his words. He's the best thing in my life and knowing him is a lovely coincidence. One thing that I will never ever going to forget is the memory of me and him from the day how we know till my life end in this world. I really thank God for giving him to me and brighten each of my day having him in my heart.