i've been wasting so much time on a person who's not worth me wasting my time n energy on.. i wonder how n why could i hav fallen for him n left d 1 who luved me?? it's no point turning back now cuz wat is past is past.. since v've broke up n v r firm on after breaking up not getting back together i hav to hold on to wat my saying is.. moreover, there hav been too many disturbance between us.. friends coming to talk on his behalf? since when will he learn to grow up n make his own mind up himself? it's not about planning i wan him to learn or wat.. it's something gud where he can use it in life in d future.. s for d other one... i think i'm choosing to give up.. i'm tired of chasing after him d.. since he has his job so bz, there will not b anytime for me since 70% of his time is working the d other 29.9% is for his friends.. don need to say much remainder time is me.. i feel like i'm oni his toy.. whenever he need company n no one there then oni he'll come find for me.. when he has a line waiting for him, i dono which corner of his mind i'm in.. working, sleeping n with friends is all he noe.. me? zero!!! my heart is broken.. unrepairable.. no matter wat his actions cannot b forgiven at all.. he made me fell for him n dis is how he treats me after i've fallen for him. no more trust in guys anymore!!! ...

wo tao yen wo zhe zi le xian zai.. bu zhe bu jue yi jin ai shang le ling wai yi ge nan de.. qi guai de shi ta ye shi ge hei de.. bu zhe dao wei shem me wo zhe neng rang in du ren ai shang wo er bu shi hua ren.. wo xiang you ge mei hao ed ai qing gu she.. bu xiang zai chao jia le.. wo yi jin hen lei.. mei li qi lai chao jia le.. xi wang zhe ge hui liao jie wo.. ta da guo wo 5 nian.. er chie zai jiu dian li gong zhuo.. xiang fa ying gai hui bi wo shang yi ge gen chen shou ba??? ke shi wo jue de ta men de ren hao xiang you dian xiang.. pi qi guai guai de.. peng you bi nu oeng you zhong yao??? shem me dao li ah??? ke shi gen ta zai yi qi wo zhen de jue de hen zhe you.. xiang zhuo shem me dou ke yi.. bu yong tian tian huo shu shem me she dou shu yao gao shu ta.. er chie ta zhuo ta de she wo jiu zhuo wo de she.. zhe neng zai wan shang de she jian liao ji fen zhong de hua er yi.. zhe ling wo hen nan guo.. ying wei ta zhe hui mang wan zai gong she rang hou hui dao jia jiu yao sui jiao.. yao bu ran jiu gen peng you chu qu.. da gao 5 dian zhao shang chai hui jia.. wo zhen de you she hou bu dong ta xiang yao shem me.. shuo ai wo ke shi zhong shi bu jue de liao xian zai.. wo zhen de hao nan guo..

dono wat's wrong vif me.. attracted by indian guys? i mean by they r attracted to me.. if he wouldn't hav confessed to me all dis wouldn't hav happen.. both of them.. i should hav just go back to chinese guys but i cant.. i'm stuck vif 1 now.. very suffering cuz it's totally d other way round from all of my presious experience.. cuz dis he's working everyday. oni got a day off n dat oso doesn't mean he has time for me on his off day.. wanna go meet up vif his friends n things like dat.. during working time i call or msg oso no reply.. after work reach home go sleep till d next day.. if not then will b outside yam cha vif friends till late.. if not yam cha then clubbing.. but all of dis didnt make me mad at all.. i just simply don understand... previous me, will b screaming n shouting at dat person d.. but y not him? cuz i really understand or i just wan him? i noe he's not serious but y i still wanna bang my head into it? it sounds dam stupid but yes.. i'm doing it rite now.. i'm such an idiot calling n msging even though he's not replying.. say will call n msg me back later but his later never comes.. how can i take dis???

it happened just last week thurs i went out vif him for a date.. i treated him a meal for helping me vif my exam n he treated me a movie. v watched "skinwalker" sorta scarry movie which is so not for me to go watch.. while wating for d movie, v walked around. he held me for awhile n it felt so gud.. i wish he can hold me longer than dat. when in d movie, he hugged me cuz i was scared. mean by hugged tightly.. half way through d movie, all of a sudden he kissed me n confessed dat he luv me.. i couldn't help but felt so sweet i too hugged him throughout d whole movie. it was so nice at dat time n i just hope d movie has never ended.. just wanna sit there vif him ny.. v took couple seat.. later on, he took me down to d ice-skating ring where he played for free n i sat outside looking cuz i don dare to play.. fell on d ice too many times b4 so i'm scared to hurt my ass again dis time. i just wish he can just hold me without letting go.. but at d same time, i flt bad cuz i was having bf at dat moment.. i did those things behind his back.. however, now i'm back to single, broke up vif my bf n now he wan me to b vif him. one tihng i like about him is he let me do wat i wan n there no rules & regulations for me to follow. d oni bad thing about him is i feel dat he's not serious in a relationship.. i don dare to commit again into dis relationship n end up getting hurt. i wan someone to care for me n b there when i needed him.. trust n believe in me and respect my privacies.. i wanna feel secured being vif a guy.. can he actually give all those to me? should i start a new relationship so soon or should i just take my time to think? i feel he treats me cold when registering for work. after work, he either goes home or he's out vif his friends n has no time for me. i dono how i wanna take dis.. having a bf is like not having one at all.. wat should i do???

today is d ending of my relationship n d starting of my career & studies.. it's something glad cuz i can at last focus on wat i wan in my future where there nothing n no one there to block me.. i can do wat i wan, meet who i wan.. no more rules & regulations plus reporting to do.. it's a relief on being alone now cuz it feels like i'm a bird.. free to fly away..  free from d guy who i used to luv n oso d guy who luvs me.. 2 guys? nah.. just go vif myself.. dat's d best.. y wanna b in between them? if v hav faith, v'll get back together.. if not.. then too bad.. take it s if an experience.. it's not really a happy ending neither izzit suppose to b a sad ending.. just a relief ny.. dat's all i can say..